Life Lessons: Play!

Hello everyone!

I hope you’re having a wonderful week and that your sanity is hanging in there!

I don’t know how far back you all have read in this roller coaster of a journey, but some of you may remember Heel! In that blog post I started a new breed of posts (pun completely intended). I called these kinds of posts ‘life lessons’.

I haven’t really continued that category of post, but I realized something this week that put a post of that sort on my heart.

As this ‘life lessons’ breed is, clearly, lessons I have learned, it will have a larger faith-element to it. My faith does permeate my entire life, and I will never apologize for that. However, I do understand not everyone shares my viewpoint, and I want to make it clear I am not shoving it down your throat. (Because, heaven forbid, anyone actually stand unwaveringly for something people could disagree with these days. Except politics, I guess, but for as normal and every day as arguing about that has become… I digress.) So. I told you in Heel! that I would warn you before I went into another of ~these~, and have thus done so.

I don’t have many pictures or videos from this week, but I have a few. If you came just for those, go ahead and scroll to the bottom. There is no judgement–again, I can’t see what people have read of posts and what they haven’t. If you just came for the cute puppy pictures and videos, feel free to skip to the bottom. If you’d like to know some of my more faith-based updates–or quarantine is just so dull and this is at least some way to pass the time–feel free to keep reading!

In all honesty, this quarantine has really revealed to me what I put a lot of heart emphasis on and what I’ve been lying to myself about “just not having time for”. When your schedule is wiped clean, what do you fill it back up with?

For me, it’s been made clear that includes my Bible studies, a select few people, the stories I love to create, learning new languages (Duolingo for the win!), Dressed Lilies, bookkeeping (because, technically, I do still work), learning, and Cor.

Here’s the thing. Apparently, for the last nineteen to twenty years, teaching me to relax and play has been a thing. Was I aware of this? No. Not until my trainer told me–seriously, people, I had to be told this–to not work Yaha as hard and just play. To which my mom called across the room “thank you!”

We were at a group training and I was being told to play. How do you know when you need workaholics anonymous? That’s certainly one way.

And I tried.

I did. I carved out time to set aside as ‘playtime’ and studied Pinterest and YouTube to figure out… what that entailed. Well, I say ‘studied’. Admittedly, it was a bit half-hearted. Yaha was my service dog. How does one play with a service dog? Do you… pretend to have a seizure? Do you train? Wait, no, Amanda said no training. But all the games I was finding didn’t have a point. And they took some forethought and preparation. *gasps like a femme fatal before swooning* scandalous!

Yes, hello? 1-800-workaholics? I think I need help. Also, if you give me a minute, I’m going to get 1-800-HE’S-A-PUPPY! on the line so we can knock these both out at the same time so I can get back to work, yeah?

I came by this honestly, really. Up until this past week I didn’t realize how many hours a normal work week was. True story. The question came up–while we were reading US History on the way home from the doctor (yes, seriously,) and the first guess from the backseat was ‘eighty’. Me and my sisters counted down by fives to try and figure it out. When you have business-owner parents who work from home–at least one at all times except for six months out of my entire life–the lines between ‘at home’ and ‘at work’ start to blur. 🙂

So… a lot of the ‘play’ ended up being fetch and long–and I mean 40 minutes long–walks.

To be honest, that’s kind of what my faith life has been, too.

Do this; don’t do this.

You’ll never be able to earn the gift of God’s grace and sacrifice, but that’s no reason not to try.

If you’re not moving forward, you’re falling behind.

Lord.

Master.

Savior.

King.

God.

Make Him proud.

Run the race.

Earn the prize.

Be an example.

Ten commandments.

Beatitudes.

Fruit of the Spirit.

Aaaand… sprint the marathon!

Don’t misunderstand me. I loved fetch and taking walks. I loved taking him out in public and training him. I loved him and his goofy self.

I love learning, and striving, and working to show God’s love to others.

And those are all good things. Which is sometimes the devil’s most powerful tool. I get distracted and reeled in by good things a lot more than bad things, after all. I can easily turn away from murder or stealing or drugs or alcohol. Working hard though? Ignoring everything but my goal? That’s harder. Because it’s good. But ‘good’ is far too often the enemy of ‘great’.

Showing His love to others is kind of hard, after all, when you see Him as a Coach; standing on the sidelines telling you what to do.

Easy to tell you to swim faster on land, isn’t it?

I think the trouble is, I truly, genuinely, love to work. I love to fall into bed exhausted; knowing I made something of the day. That, if I were to be called Home tonight, I wouldn’t wish I could’ve made more of my time.

So for me, the coach version of God isn’t upsetting until my sides are heaving and my limbs are burning and we’re only halfway through warmups. And even then…

I mean, can you argue with that? I find it hard–the man has the fruit on the tree.

And, the hard truth is, God doesn’t care about your comfort as much as your character. In stories, where does the most growth happen? When do we cheer the loudest? When the chips are down, the odds are stacked, and the heroes spit blood, grit their teeth, and go at the big bad one more time. When they could go back and claim they tried. When no one would blame them for calling it quits, and could agree it was impossible. But they don’t. Moana fixes the boat to face Te Ka alone. Luke faces Vader one more time. The US hockey team goes ‘again’. Rocky gets back in the ring. Spiderman and Cap get up. The characters battling depression continue to fight the invisible, very real, war with their own minds. Because, as any good author knows, you can’t coddle your characters; you have to break them to see what they’re made of.

Work ethic is something I learned young, but, maybe, I took it too far. Maybe I let my goals become idols; something demanding the sacrifice of my enjoyment in the everyday.

But life isn’t just grit your teeth, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, grin, and bear it. God could’ve made life merely functional, but He didn’t. He created humor, He made the earth beautiful. He made baby animals cute. He wove the very essence of music and art into creation right alongside math and science. He commanded his people to celebrate feasts and take a day of rest and enjoyment. In fact…

“‘But if you do not listen to me and refuse to keep the Sabbath holy, and if on the Sabbath day you bring loads of merchandise through the gates of Jerusalem just as on other days, then I will set fire to these gates. The fire will spread to the palaces, and no one will be able to put out the roaring flames.’”

Jeremiah 17:27 NLT

You must keep the Sabbath day, for it is a holy day for you. Anyone who desecrates it must be put to death; anyone who works on that day will be cut off from the community.

Exodus 31:14 NLT

You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day must be a Sabbath day of complete rest, a holy day dedicated to the Lord. Anyone who works on the Sabbath must be put to death.

Exodus 31:15 NLT

Pretty serious about resting for a Coach, isn’t it? When’s the last time a coach said to you, “listen, Timmy, if something stops you from resting, get rid of it, or I’ll get rid of it for you”? I don’t think I’ve ever heard a coach say that.

With Cor, things are different. In all honesty, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s that his energy is more my level than Yaha’s. Maybe it’s that he’s cute and he knows it, and how to use that. I don’t know. I truly don’t. But, now, I have no problem sitting and just watching him play. I can’t help smiling and giggling as he pounces on and shakes his moose. I have no problem researching games and toys and making them work.

We don’t train every moment of the day, but when we do, it feels more like a game than a list of tasks to send in videos of. (I can hear Amanda rejoicing from here.)

Does that mean everything is perfect? No. He is still trying to figure out his big boy feelings. He still bites at our Achilles tendon to try and play. He still ‘scolds me’ for whatever puppy reason he has. We’re working on it. But I don’t have to make every moment productive.

I will never claim to know what motherhood feels like until and unless I have kids. But, before, I never understood how parents could just… watch their children play. Me and my sisters will be outside and I’ll catch my mom or dad in the window sometimes, just… watching. I don’t mind, but I’ve always wondered how they can just stand and watch someone else do something. How they can just… do nothing. How mothers at the park are content to sit and watch and talk.

But now… now I’ve done it. I’ve sat and just watched Cor try to drag the PVC tube jump across the lawn, or hunt a junebug, or jump/run after a ball I’ve thrown. I’ve just sat there with what’s likely the dopiest look on my face, giggling for the sheer happiness exuding from such a happy creature as a puppy.

I know I hadn’t shared this with many people, but within the last few years I’ve felt myself grow jaded and hard about life in general. It’s like the ending in Frozen–the part where you literally see the ice grow and encase Anna. That’s what my heart felt like. Trapped, isolated (no pun intended), and hard to break through. But watching Cor play, playing with him, and learning to–as bizarre as it sounds–play in my faith*? I haven’t felt iced over quite so much, recently. I’m smiling more.

*Let me explain something. By ‘play in my faith’, do I mean “go ahead! Do anything! Play and enjoy yourself! Throw the rules out the window!” NO! *tries to think of how to add more emphasis to the word* What I mean, is God doesn’t want a strictly business relationship. Yes, He’s Lord, Master, Savior, King, and God. But He is also Father, Friend, Advocate, Defender, Protector, and Comforter. This is the side of God I’ve had a hard time truly understanding. It’s much easier to understand: Creator of the universe, Author of the story of the world, Coach urging you to growth, and Perfect God than Everlasting Father, One who loves you as you are. And yet, He is both. Hard to understand.

So what do I mean by playing? Well, bluntly, God isn’t a King who demands perfection 24/7. He desires us to live righteously, yes. However, the God who created us and knows everything also knows how frail and what fallen creatures we are. Crazy, innit?

We are allowed to sit, enjoy the sun. We’re allowed to draw badly if we find joy in it. If the smell of coffee fires up an affection for the God who gave you your sense of smell, revel in it. Not everything has to be productive; not every purchase has to be strictly useful or indulgent with no in-between. If painting your nails helps you be affectionate toward the child He loves [you], then paint your nails!

Is this comfortable for me? Oh, heck to the no! I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to not think about the list of ‘to do’s I have as I lay down to take a nap. But I’m still working. I’m still striving, and running, and pushing; because while all work and no play may make Jack a dull boy, all play and no work makes Jack an immature adult. …not a perfect analogy, but you take my point.

But now, I take time to appreciate the sunsets, to watch Cor prance and pounce and enjoy chewing on his sticks. Because that sparks the affection of my Creator in my heart that I’ve been missing. Because I’ve found myself praying “I don’t love You as much as I desire to. Please soften my heart, Lord.” Which is almost as dangerous as praying for patience. Because that led to this lesson that not constantly working is not a sin.

Pictures, now!

So, yeah, turns out I don’t have many of these. Specifically for the reason discussed above. 🙂