Thanks Giving

Thanksgiving is one of the cheesiest holidays, isn’t it? The most hypocritical? We celebrate things we’re grateful for by stuffing our faces as pampered first-world citizens, and then, tomorrow? None of what we were just grateful for is enough to keep us from the sales, sales, sales!

Now, contrary to how that paragraph sounded, I don’t hate Thanksgiving. I just think the word has become synonymous with the wrong thing. If someone were to describe the holiday as “the day dedicated to expressing gratitude” who among us would recognize the feast n’ frenzy it has become? That’s not to say feasts are bad—God commands celebrations and feasts and days of rest on pain of excommunication and death (Leviticus 23). All I’m saying is that, if going around in a circle and saying one thing we’re thankful for is as far as we go in recognizing how blessed we are—especially in first-world countries (which is where all my readers are reading from), it’s kind of like sitting in the garage to call yourself a car, or going to church twice a year (Christmas and Easter) and saying you’ve surrendered your life to Christ. Saying you have boundaries and then giving in every time someone toes the line. Lip service doesn’t cut it. Not when we each have a feast a billion times greater than the one we’ll eat tonight laid before us just by living in this country.

Especially this year.

*pause for horrified retorts about Coronavirus and racism and the election et cetera ad infinitum* 

Am I saying these things don’t exist? Clearly not. If we look out the window we can see the fallen state humanity is in. But, people, gratitude—and I cannot stress this enough—IS NOT a comparison game. You don’t get to go “well, the list of blessings I have is pretty big, buuuuut… the list of inconveniences and tribulations I have is pretty big, too, so I’m just going to sit this one out.” Because, if that was the way people were able to act, everyone would be. From one end of the spectrum to the other—on every spectrum—none of us have easy lives. Life isn’t a comparison game, and neither is Thanksgiving. 

Thanksgiving is a day set apart for giving. thanks. For everything—even in your tribulations especially the things that grow you and point out where you need to look at how you’ve been living your life.

Examples? Glad you asked. 🙂

Seizures? Or reminders to be grateful for every second I get to live in?

Black mold-ridden-house? How about God showing us just how much we had that we wouldn’t miss and lifting us to a new level of generosity and gratitude?

Moving across the country with only what could fit in our minivan? Try a chance to grow—to learn how little we actually need to be happy and generous.

Yaha washing? Meeting new friends and being given a level of humility and empathy with so many more people than I would’ve had would he have flew through the program faster than the guesstimate. Same with Cor being stuck on Lesson 6.

I want to tell y’all a thanksgiving story.

Now, most of you know me looking like this:

What you may not know, is that I’ve been growing my hair out with the specific intention of selling it (it is a thing—as weird as it sounds. There are websites to do it, and a lot of places that do extensions and wigs will buy it for significant amounts) to hopefully (🤞🏼) pay off the last of Cor’s training. I’ve had an ad up on a certain hair selling website since my birthday. I’d gotten a few offers, asking if I’d be willing to sell more. At the time, I had said no because I just wasn’t comfortable with it.

Some time passed, and I got another message this past Friday asking the same with a few noted exceptions: instead of a pixie cut or the like, they were asking about a full-on shave for over four times as much as I was asking.

Here’s the thing: the closer the hair is cut to the roots, the more valuable it is. I had offered 17”, and, after another month’s worth of growth, a full-on shave would amount to 30” of hair. So while their offer sounded insane at first, it started to make a bit more sense after a bit of thought, but it was still twice as much as I would’ve expected it to go up.

That amount would be able to pay off his training, and supply a nice bit of a cushion in case of emergency expenses as well as maybe a few new toys. But. A full shave? Never would I have thought of doing anything like that. Ever. I had always had hair—normally quite a bit of it. 🙃 I suddenly realized that maybe I did care what I looked like. I didn’t need to be pretty, but I didn’t want to be repulsive or ugly.

I was able to address that concern that I never would’ve thought I had. We did what we could to see how I would look without hair, and, to be fair, it was not-ugly.

The more I thought about it, the more it started to sound like an interesting idea. An adventure, if you will. Plus, I mean, hats are a thing. I can crochet, so… if it looks terrible, I can always make it more or less look like I have hair, right?

Plus, scripture says to owe no man anything but the love between brothers. Being able to pay off Cor’s training… good glory, that’d be worth it.

Plus, it’s hair. It’ll grow back—my legs and pits are proof of that. 🙃

I agreed.

They sent me their terms and conditions.

• I’d cut my hair according to their specifications.

These were different than just about everyone else’s in the business and everything I was reading. According to what I read, if I cut it this way, no one else would buy it. It could not be used. Odd, but they had an answer for it when I questioned it.

Okay, then.

• I would receive half the money after I sent in videos of my hair being cut, and would receive the other half after they received the tracking number.

The website I was selling through said not to put clippers to hair until after the money was in the account. I said so.

They were trying to avoid a scam—it had happened before.

To be fair, I was trying to avoid one, too. 

Would they agree to a compromise? Half before the clippers hit hair, half after the hair was sent.

No. They had been scammed before and couldn’t get the money back, but they’d happily provide innumerable proofs of prior purchases.

And they did. Pictures of receipts, videos of other girls doing it and payments made. Names, amounts paid, dates, all of it. It all looked legit and safe, and like there was nothing to worry about.

…fine.

And so, my boundaries were revealed to not be boundaries, but lines drawn in pencil; easily erased. 

So, on Sunday evening, I went from this:

To this:

Which, to be honest, I’m enjoying more than I thought. I have taken a full-on shower in less than five minutes rather than twenty-five to forty-five.

My head feels lighter and doesn’t hurt as easily.

I’m finding that I actually really like hats as accessories.

I’m not constantly pulling my hair out of the way, pulling it back, or in some other way adjusting for seven ounces (we weighed it) of dead skin cells.

I like it.

Does that mean I’m going to maintain nearly bald? No. But, if I look like this for a couple months, I won’t hate it as much as I would’ve thought had someone asked me a week ago.

…that said, I still haven’t gotten the money and communication broke down as soon as they got the link to the page with the videos (which I have taken down again—they can no longer see them and they weren’t downloadable).

We have consulted with police connections and concerns have been raised.

They are being investigated, but, as we don’t know their full intentions, we can’t be sure how much of an alert we need to be on. Therefore, we are on high alert. We have taken this time to up our cyber alertness, and I encourage you to take this time to address such things with your family—that there are bad people out there who have ways of finding out scary amounts of information on the internet—whether through keystroke tracking or location services—including the exposure notifications set up in your settings (to track whether you’ve been exposed to people with known Corona cases).

We have gone to exhaustive lengths to stem what information and data the scammers can get. It is possible for people to hide secret downloads in links to other things they ask you to download, as well as photos and videos. 

I’m not kidding when I say I basically got an entirely new phone (new SIM card and a factory reset and swapped physical phones too), factory reset my computer, our family got a VPN, and Dad talked to every tech genius he knows to figure out what they could’ve gotten—and he works in IT. 

They were reported to the website by several people and banned from said site. We also reported them to a national scammer database.

One other thing! For those of you who have iPhones, go into your settings and the Emergency SOS bar for an added layer of security. 😉

The authorities in a couple states are now aware of these people and we are in contact with the local police. If they’re just a couple of punks, great. If they are part of a larger ring… well, there have been several rings being broken up recently. If this is another one and someone just got sloppy and stepped in it… they’re in trouble. I can’t go into all the details for security reasons, but they’ve got so many people on the lookout for suspicious activity in cyberspace as well as our neighborhood.

You know what? I’m thankful this happened—just like my seizures and the mold and moving and Yaha washing.

How?

I really believe this’ll be a Genesis 50.20 situation:

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.

Genesis 50:20 (I just said that.)

To a lesser extent, I’ve learned that my boundaries need to be made of bricks and mortar rather than graphite.

I’ve learned that I’m not my hair—something I wouldn’t have thought I needed to learn.

I never would’ve doubted it, but I’ve also learned just how much my family loves me and will protect me. 

So if these people are just punk teens trying to mess with the dignity of young women… 😈

If they’re a more malicious ring trying to mess with the dignity of young women… 😈

I do want to make one thing absolutely clear.

This is NOT about vengeance or me getting my money. This is about making sure the next young woman—one who lives alone without additional heads to look over her shoulder, can’t make do without these couple hundred, and can’t see herself as pretty without hair—isn’t taken advantage of. The difference between justice and vengeance is forgiveness and bitterness. I have forgiven them, and would be just fine if I never got the money, but getting away with this to take advantage of any more young women?

Over. My. Dead. Body.

All that to say…?

What am I thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Chances to grow, improve, and give people who can, the information needed to bust the a** of people who dare mess with the dignity and innocence of children and sell something they didn’t make.

Fight me.

I have within me power that beat death and the grave and I was not born to fail,

Lauryn

…I need to punch a wall.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!