“Off” Days

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Human, why didn’t you write a post last week?

See, that’s the thing of it, Cor. I did.

No you didn’t; you didn’t say you posted one, and I can’t find it. It was the third week we were back together, and there was a lot that happened. There was so much you could’ve written about. Why didn’t you?

Again, I did write a post. But, you are right in that I didn’t post it.

Why not?

Because I was having an “off” day. You know how, when we go out in public, there are some days that doing heel is about all you can manage? You know how, on those days, we don’t do videos or heavy active training because all the distractions are so much more distracting, and heel is so much harder, and it’s all you can do to be a good boy?

Yes.

Well, humans have those days, too. And they are not fun. At all. You know how, last Monday, you had a rest day pretty much all day?

Yeah; that was nice after such a long week.

Mm-hm. They are. The thing is, though, I had the same week you did–running to the shops I’ve got the crochet stuff in, freshening up and reorganizing and “fluffing” for the five months I’ll be gone on Wednesday and Thursday, packing the car and tetris-ing us all into a smaller car than we’re used to Thursday night, and–at about 9:30, 9:45pm Thursday–driving through the night.

I don’t like doing that, human. My bed moves around randomly. I go sliding and have to fight to stay in place.

I know, Cor. It would be easier if you sat or laid down, though, you know. More surface area to hold yourself in place.

But then I can’t look out the window. What’s the point in going for a ride if you can’t look out the windows?

But, when we’re driving through the night you can’t see out the windows, anyway.

That’s another thing I don’t like about it–the world disappears! What if it comes for you next? I just got you back, I’m not going to lose you again; I have to stay awake and protect you all. The darkness won’t mess with me.

Not if it knows what’s good for it, I’m sure. Do you remember what Friday was?

Was that the day we drove the entire time?

Yep. It was also the day you finally gave up and slept a bit. Adorable, by the way:

That was also the day that, when we got home, we had to move everything necessary for sleeping back inside.

Because the humans put everything in the garage before they left to come get you? That was weird. Why did they do that?

You know how, when we got back home, the floors were different?

Yes. I think I liked the old ones better–these aren’t as nice to sleep on.

Which is why I’m making you a bed from old sheets, if you’ll stop sitting on what I’m using to make it. Last night you did sleep on the sheets I have in a pile on my floor, though, so I’m taking that as a sign you like them.

But why did the floors change?

We don’t do very well with carpeting and all the dust and dander and dirt it traps. While we were all in Wisconsin, then, our landlord ripped out the carpets. In order for that to happen, they had to move everything that was on the carpets into the garage before they came.

I still think I like the other floors better. They’re softer.

I understand, buddy. I do. Do you remember what we did the day after we got back?

Ummm… ‘manda and friendos?

Yep. We went on a group outing to the Stockyards. Did the maze, watched the cattle drive, and you had your pictures taken.

Can I see the pictures?

When our trainer sends them over, I will definitely put them up, yes.

That ‘venture was tiring, human. Fun, but tiring.

I believe it. Most of the best outings are. I’ll bet Sunday was the same, yeah?

What did we do Sunday?

Well, in the morning, you came to church for the first time in several months, and then, in the afternoon, you came to a restaurant and bluebonnet-finding with me and my friends, and got more pictures taken.

Oh, yeah. That was a lot of driving, and a lot of getting in and out of the car. That was a long ‘venture, human. I’m not sure I’d want to do that again.

Well, you’ve got at least a year. But, the pictures turned out really well.

Can I see? 

Can I see, can I see, can I see?

Haha, of course:

Oooo! I look good!

Yep; I’d swear, you’re the most photogenic dog I’ve ever seen.

So what does all that have to do with not posting last week, human?

Well, do you remember what you did Monday?

Slept. A lot. That felt good.

Exactly. Do you remember what I did Monday?

Not post?

Moved the rest of my stuff back into my room, silly. As empty a day as Monday was for you, it was full for me. So, when I remembered I got to post, I was so mentally tired, the words didn’t come very easily or well. I tried. But, it didn’t come well, and that post will never see the light of day. I’ll likely reuse bits and pieces of it–did in this post, actually–but with heavy editing, so I’m not just dumping unrelated thoughts onto a page and hitting post. The readers deserve better than that, right?

Well, yes.

What do I do when you’re having an off day?

Continue to work me?

Yes, but gently, in and easier way, for a shorter amount of time, and with grace. Because in this field of favor, our lives are lead by grace. But, I don’t post the reviews of those outings, or how you did, for all the world to see, because, a lot of the time, they aren’t good. But, that isn’t you. That’s one bad day, one day your mind is a steaming pile of loose poop. That’s not what you pass or fail on, and handlers get the same way, sometimes. Their minds are tired, they lose their patience, they’re not their best selves. After such a full few days, that’s where I was. That wasn’t a me I wanted to showcase. It’s a very real part of this life, and it’s not a part we can just ignore or pretend never happens because it’s not pretty–that’d be doing everyone a disservice. That is why I am explaining that it happened–that this life gets real and raw and ugly, and isn’t all dogs that can walk in perfect heel off-leash through an airport. It comes with accidents in a store, taking off after a rabbit and sending your human into the sidewalk, and people not respecting the vest. Those things happen, and are very real, but are not the majority of this life, and I choose not to showcase that as everyday life, because the negativities of life get too much of the limelight already. That’s why I didn’t post last week; because neither of us are perfect; we’re both still learning how to get through this life. Everyone’s already winging everything, anyway. There’s no shame in not being perfect all the time.

Sometimes you expect me to be perfect all the time.

Yes. There are times I do. That is a very easy trap to fall into, and it’s not uncommon. I’ll make you a deal. I’ll try to remember you’re still in training and not perfect, if you remember I’m still in training, too, and that this is the first time I’ve gotten this far, and that I’m only human. We’ll get there, in the end, but nobody’s perfect at anything the first time they try it. You remember that for me, and I’ll remember that for you.

But you’re my hooman. Everything you do is perfect, isn’t it?

HA! Oh, doggo, that is so far from the truth, I don’t know where to begin.

But, you’re my Hooman. You’re who I listen to. You teach me things.

And you don’t know how scary it is to think people still believe me capable and responsible enough to have that duty. This is my first and only time through life, Cor; why should it be perfect? How could it be? But, there’s one thing I do know.

We weren’t born to fail?

So buckle up, buttercup. We’re in for the ride of our lives, and I plan on making it a good one.

2 replies
  1. Fanou
    Fanou says:

    Lauryn, honey, thank you for this post.
    I send you all my love and I am wondering what made your week so hard. Just wondering and hoping I could be more close to you all. Hugging you tight my love.

    Reply

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